I am 69 Going On 70

This is a parody of the song ’16 going on 17′ from The Sound of Music. Sung by Rolfe and Lisle in the film, I have adapted the words to be more in tune with the older generation.

HE SAYS:

I am 69, going on 70,
Falling to bits I think.
Once like a Greek God, now I’m an old sod.
Listen, I’m on the brink.

I am 69, going on 70,
Dodgy knees, hips and spine
Doctors galore all tell me no more
Fat, sugar, beer or wine.

Totally unprepared am I
To face this on my own.
Shocked and dismayed and scared am I,
All I can do is groan.

I need someone younger and wiser
Telling me what to do.
You are 59 going on 60.
I’ll depend on you.

SHE SAYS:

True, I’m 59 going on 60
Some say that I’m too young
To look after you all day and night too.
Get out and have some fun.

I am 59, going on 60
I’ve been around the block.
I’ve met many drinkers, fat-bellied stinkers.
You could say I’m hard to shock.

Totally up for it am I
To help you with your ills.
But if you die, the insurance is mine
And you’ll have no more need for pills.

(Win, win if you ask me)

You need someone younger and wiser
Telling you what to do.
I am 59 going on 60.
I’ll TAKE CARE of you!