Issues effecting Grandparents
I Don’t Feel Like a Grandparent.
Lots of people associate grandparenthood with advanced age. Perhaps your own grandparents were old, or perhaps they seemed old to your childish eyes. In fact, the average age of becoming a grandparent in the UK is only 49. Grandparents today are quite different from grandparents half a century ago. The next time you go to a shopping centre or other public place, look at the children and the adults with them. Often it can be difficult to tell whether the adult with a child is a parent or a grandparent. There are a lot of very youthful grandparents out there. You do not have to conform to those pictures of grandparents that happen to reside in your head. You can choose your own grandparenting style and grandmother name or grandfather name. You can choose to be a groovy grandparent. On the other hand, if being a grandma appeals to you, and baking is your bag, don’t feel that you have to apologise for being a traditional grandparent. It’s all about being comfortable in your grand parenting identity.
I Don’t Want to Be Tied Down by Being a Grandparent.
Grandparents today are expected to be very involved in their grandchildren’s lives. If they live close to their grandchildren, they are probably expected to be at school functions and sporting events. For some grandparents, being at these events is a no-brainer. Other grandparents may find that having their presence required is an impediment to living their own lives. In the second case, communication and compromise are key. It’s never a good idea to avoid the issue. Instead, communicate honestly and openly with your children about what you are willing to do and what commitments are too restrictive.
I Hate Worrying About My Grandchildren.
Grandparents are champion worriers. To a certain extent, a grandchild is one more person to worry about. On the other hand, having more people to worry about isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It may prevent a worrier from obsessing over one individual, be it child, grandchild or spouse. We cannot control the lives or our children or grandchildren. The sooner we realize that, the sooner we will be able to take joy in our relationship with them instead of trying to prevent anything bad from ever happening, an exercise in futility if there ever there was one.
Never under estimate the value of a grandparent to a child or even a teenager. Grandparents can have the most special relationship with a child that will be cherished forever, and can never be replaced.
The Blue Rinse Image of Grandparents is outdated!
Emma Soames, the editor of Saga magazine, which commissioned some research into grandparents, said:
“Given that the average age of a first-time grandparent is 49, the blue rinse image of grandparents is greatly out of kilter with the reality.”
The foundation claims to have identified five types of grandparent, from Adventure Seekers and Racy Role Models to Hearts of Gold, Traditionalists and Quiet Reminiscers.
Its research explodes the myth of the grey-haired, reserved grandparent and paints a picture of an active, energetic, social group.
Adventure Seekers are defined as more affluent, predominantly female, leading hectic and full lives. They tend to focus on travelling, new experiences and are very concerned with their appearance.
They are poised to be the fastest growing group in the years to come. They account for 2.5 million (19.5 per cent) grandparents in Britain but this figure is likely to rise to four million by 2020.
Racy Role Models are mostly male, still employed and active. They enjoy spending time with their grandchildren and have a varied and active social life, drinking, flirting and dancing. They account for five million grandparents in Britain.
Hearts of Gold are kindly, friendly grandparents who stand out in terms of the amount of time they devote to their grandchildren, often in the form of unpaid child care.
There are 750,000 of them and they are sociable with their immediate friends and family but have a tendency not to seek out new friends and experiences, probably because they do not have the time.
The four million Traditionalists are likely to be older grandparents, mostly women, who have a vastly reduced range of pastimes. They generally have more grandchildren but because they are less active, are less able to participate in their care.
Quiet Reminiscers are the smallest cluster and are made up mainly of grandfathers. As the least active group, they do not choose to spend much, if any, time with their grandchildren. They are also less likely to socialise or have hobbies and pastimes than other groups. There are about 750,000 of them in Britain.
The Future Foundation polled 2,000 people over the age of 50.
Which category of the five would you most fit???
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