Gardening
Hopefully, this will make you laugh.
Gardening
I know I should like gardening but I find it quite a pain.
No sooner have you finished then it’s time to start again.
The weeds just seem to flourish, they survive no matter what.
Dandelions just everywhere, from the borders to your pots.
Hostas are just slug food and should be named as such,
a smorgasbord for gastropods, they love them far too much!
Then we have the Latin names all Double-Dutch to me,
a daffodil’s a daffodil, of that, you must agree.
You never seem to benefit from the labours of your work.
If and when you take time out your garden goes berserk!
Once again you’re wading through bindweed by the mile,
proliferating as you watch, blooming with such style.
You tried to grow some vegetables, it seemed a good idea,
finest banquet for all pests, they come from far and near.
Caterpillars scoff the leaves and snails devour the rest,
they seem to go for everything with speed and great finesse.
All the fine green cabbage was supper for the lot,
now everything’s in disarray within your veggie plot.
The only thing still standing are the weeds and big fat slugs,
they’ve gone and eaten everything, it’s a victory to the bugs.
Gardening’s really not for me, I’ve thrown in the proverbial towel
Instead I’m holding a chilled white wine and ditched the spade and trowel.
I’ll leave the horticultural dream and digging all those weeds
I sit relaxing in my chair as the gardening bug recedes.
(I actually like gardening but don’t tell anybody!)
©Teresa Harrison-Best
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