Bad Hair Day!

Bad Hair Day!

I have a little problem
I know I shouldn’t complain,
It’s not because I fancy myself
I’m really not that vain

It’s just that I’ve tried everywhere
And all Hair Salons have shut
Me, I’ve only garden sheers
To do my own hair cut

I tried and tried to straighten it
But it simply wants to bend
It sticking out in all directions
Nothing like the current trend

The condition it’s just terrible
Split ends and Oh! So dry!
Each time I brave a mirror
I simply want to cry.

The colour, it’s all fading now
My roots they don’t half show
And when I asked where to get DIY
Alexa said, ‘Shit! I do not know!’

All the shops have sold out
Both near and far away
She suggested I use Quink Pen ink
Just to cover up the grey

My hubbie says ‘Don’t worry love,
It ain’t like you’re on show
We’re not seeing friends out socially
As we’ve got nowhere to go.

Just look at our Prime Minister
His hair’s all messed up too
And now he’s closed the country down
There ain’t much neither of you can do.’

‘I said that’s not the point dear
I know I look a sight’
And when I looked out the window
The Postman ran off with fright

God knows what he’s thinking
That woman at number nine
Her hairs a right old bloody mess
I’m so glad that she’s not mine

I can’t send off passport photo
I’m not looking like this on file
I don’t want a ten-year document,
Showing my shocking 2020 Hairstyle!

I’ve washed it with the poshest products,
Added conditioner, but sadly confirm
My hairdo’s a right bloody disaster
Like I’ve had some dodgy perm

I’ve browsed and browsed the internet
And still found nothing yet
‘Cept tie it back for the next 3 months
And cover with a net!

Lesley Hawkins

2nd April 2020