Mum’s Food Safety Rules

In these troubled times a lighthearted look at Mum for Mother’s Day

Mum’s Food Safety Rules

Another scare on the telly
They add one every day
I no longer listen
To what they have to say

But the mother-in-law is panicking
She’s taking it all in
She won’t let us eat beans on toast
Cause beans come in a tin

I cannot have a coffee
Cause it is bad for me
When we go and visit her
We only get offered tea

She sat me down the other day
And said we need to talk
Have you seen the paper?
Where d’you buy your pork?

Do you use a butcher?
Do you buy processed meat?
Do you eat ready meals?
Tell me what you eat

I said I shop at Tesco
I do buy processed meat
I often cook a ready meal
It’s what I like to eat

I don’t believe the TV
They always change their mind
If I listened to them every time
I’d starve you would find

She gave a little sigh and said
I’d simply like to flag
That you should be more careful.
Then she lit another fag

Tracy Benham

June 2019