Family Christmas Dinner

Family Christmas Dinner

I’m made to pull a cracker
Then don a paper hat
But glancing round the table
I am presuming that

Tho’ grandad has his teeth in
They won’t be in place for long
And hoping that my auntie
Doesn’t entertain us with song

‘Cos I remember every year,
She makes a dreadful din
Adding insult to the injury
Entreats us to join in

By the time everyone is seated
On lots of borrowed chairs
All recline at different levels
But no one really cares

The turkey takes an age to carve
When  served it’s only tepid
The sprouts are boiled a week, I think
As they look quite decrepit

I can’t console myself with drink
‘Cos gran and booze aren’t suited
Ends up telling mucky jokes
So now sherry is diluted

The kittens playing football
A good use for a sprout
Uncles had a row
So he isn’t saying ‘owt

As we celebrate a season
That’s full of goodwill and cheer
Well maybe it is in fairytales
…………it doesn’t happen here.

Glenys Halliday