Coping with an empty nest

Whether your children are moving to another city to go to university, going abroad or simply moving away from home, the reality of an empty nest is a challenging transition for many parents.

While it’s exciting to watch your children flourish and become adults, when the last child leaves home it also marks the beginning of a new chapter.

Understanding “empty nest” syndrome

Simply put, empty nest syndrome refers to feelings of sadness and loss parents experience when their child leaves the family home. It can be characterised by difficulty letting go and a sense of lost identity.

For most people, our identities are defined by the roles we play; husband or wife, parent, friend, sibling, daughter, son, neighbour, employee, boss and so on.

Of those roles, most define parenthood as the most significant – it becomes a defining aspect of who we are and what we do.

When the children leave home, parents often feel a profound sense of loss, both at missing their children and at the loss of this vital piece of their identity.

Coping with an empty nest

Though this transition can feel difficult at first, it’s doesn’t need to be a dark chapter in your life.

Change always brings opportunity, and with a handful of tips you can cope with the sense of an ‘empty nest’ and embrace new opportunities.

To help manage the transition, try:

• Considering your roles – Parent isn’t the only piece of your identity, even if it does feel like the largest. Take some time to write down the other roles you play and look at where you might be able to expand into other roles and embrace new opportunities, the same way your children are. This could be a wonderful opportunity to spend more time with your spouse or reconnect with friends and neighbours who you haven’t been able to give your full attention to.
• Cultivate your interests – Now is the perfect time to cultivate new interests, whether that be meeting new people, focusing more seriously on your career, learning a new skill, travelling or undertaking home improvements. You have an opportunity to develop new hobbies and use this newfound free time to do something specifically for you.
• Get involved – Staying involved in your son or daughter’s new chapter can help you focus on feeling excited about what’s coming up in their lives rather than on the void that will be left behind. Take an active interest, offer support and encouragement and you may find the effect is contagious. Leaving home for the first time is daunting; helping reinforce that the door is always open will help both parent and child feel more comfortable.
• Stay in touch – Finding the right balance around how much or how little to keep in contact is something each family must figure out individually. And while you don’t want to be overbearing, staying in touch with regular texts, emails and phone calls can help you feel connected to your children regardless of where they’re living.

Do you have any tips for coping with an empty nest? Share your experiences in the comments below.