Date.com

Enjoy this witty poem about internet dating written by Shirley McIntyre

Internet Dating

Desperately seeking the girl of his dreams.
Young Ricky thought this was the end,
Of his time on the shelf, re- invented himself.
An email he quickly would send,

To ‘dating.com’, with fingers well crossed,
He hoped all his dreams would come true.
They asked for a profile, a pic with a smile,
Rick didn’t know quite what to do.

The profile was easy, he just made it up,
‘Entrepreneur with the knack to make money’.
A photo of him, squiffy eyes and no chin,
Made the idea absurd, well, quite funny.

He didn’t want mirth, wondered just what to do,
This conundrum was blighting his chance,
Of a date with Miss Right, on a Saturday night,
At the popular ‘Palais de Danse’.

Feeling dead daring, he sent a photo,
Of his dashing and handsome best mate.
Convinced that this ploy, would help him enjoy,
That elusive, exciting, first date.

He could hardly believe it, he got a reply!
A voluptuous, blonde, comely lassie,
She called herself Di, Rick was suddenly shy.
Di was gorgeous, (but looked a bit sassy).

He was ten minutes early for this new rendezvous,
“’Neath the clock in the Old Market Square?”
Sporting a red rose, in best Sunday clothes,
He fretted, and muttered a prayer.

He saw a red rose in a grubby lapel,
Of a threadbare and knobbly grey coat.
Looked up at the face, did a quick double take,
That phizog resembled a goat.

A tentative smile on her pimply goat face,
Made young Ricky’s heart miss a beat,
He waved and said ‘Hi’, then, ‘You must be Di?”
She thought, ‘Oh my, he’s ever so sweet’.

The rest is just history, the couple got wed
Their days overflowing with laughter
All loved up together, hearts light as a feather
Living happily ever after.

Written by: Shirley McIntyre