The Medical

The girl called me in, – I was ready,
With a parting so neat in my hair,
I strolled in her office so calmly,
And sat debonair in the chair.

“You have bought me a sample I take it ?”,
I gave her the one that I’d brought,
And she took the top off to test it,
There was no need at all to be fraught.

“Your sugars alright”, she informed me,
“The tablets are working just fine,
Just don’t have no chocolate or sweet things,
Oh! – and cut back a lot on the wine”.

I jumped on the scales and she weighed me,
“I’m afraid that for you it’s bad news,
You have put on six pounds since the last time”.
“Doh be daft duck, I’m wearing big shoes”

Then came the blood test, (I hate that),
Where they stick that big needle in,
And they steal all your blood – like a vampire,
And they do it, with a grin.

There followed the lecture for healthcare,
And basically it means for this boy,
It’s bye bye to chocolate and brandy,
And anything else I enjoy.

I went home a little downhearted,
The wife said “I hope you’re ok,
You took the wrong sample you daft head,
MY appointment is later today!”

Ho, ho, ho ! (at least I ain’t pregnant!)

Mick
( Copyright Michael Westwood 2014 )