Take Your Medicine When Directed

Another of my little true life anecdotes…

I went to bed last Tuesday night, and set my alarm to get up early to get my garden watered, and everything ready for the Villages in Bloom judging today (incidentally, they’ve NOT arrived yet…… Last year they came round at 10.30am, lol)

Anyway, l woke up about 1.30am for one of my usual (annoying) middle-of-the-night ‘bathroom trips’. I realised, because I was a bit ‘out of sync’ with my antibiotics – for a burst abscess in my right ear, …..which, my Dr assures me, MUST be taken regularly, my ‘every 8hrs’ dose meant I was due a tablet at 2am. It was deciding the lesser of the two evils. I either stayed up until 2am to take my antibiotic, or I nodded off for 40winks in the hope I’d wake at 2am.
I chose the first option, and filled my time haphazardly perusing (and comparing prices) of cast iron, or cast aluminium white bistro armless garden seats.
I needed to buy two.

The Amazon search engine brought up at least 600 items (some clearly not relevant…….so much so l now doubt the integrity of Amazon’s ‘select item’s software.) Anyway, there I was happily, but nonchalantly, and please don’t forget sleepily, wading through the majority of items. As luck would have it I fell asleep, AND missed my 2am ‘crucial penicillin’.

* As an avid Countdown fan I’m more used to ‘crucial Countdown conundrums’. NOT ‘crucial penicillin’.
No problem…….I awoke at 6.15am, took the medication, washed, and got dressed. Fed the dogs, (and the cat!), injected Angel with her doggy insulin, then went out into my garden until noon.

Went indoors to check if my mobile had fully charged, (it had!)

A cursory glance at my emails. You never know – I might have won the top prize in Ernie’s August Premium Bond draw……….Well, I MIGHT have done, (and, yes, it would shock me, just as much as you, IF only that were true).
Emails from Amazon, two of them in fact……

……Yesterday I purchased Chopin’s Polonaise in A flat major, Opus 53 (‘The Heroic’, if you’re interested, lol. It’s rousingly gorgeous. You should listen to it yourself. I know you’d love it). Much to the chagrin of Angel, Violet, Roxy, and Yokei, I played Chopin on continuous loop for ages last night. I’m trying to master it on my electric synthesiser, albeit not easy with osteoarthritis!

Where was I?
Ah, yes, reading emails. The Amazon email assured me that my order from yesterday had been despatched from the supplier’s warehouse, and, as if that wasn’t mysterious enough, ‘it’ would be arriving by lorry between the 5th and 8th !!!!!

Didn’t take many of my depleting brain cells to realise the possibility of my Opus 53 Polonaise metamorphosing into the actual full (hardcopy) CD and being mailed to me was not to be. (Unless, of course, it was a very, very, big set of CDs of Chopin’s entire lifetime compositions!
Modus operandi?
Easy. Check my Amazon account online. I was sure there’d been someone that had made ‘a slight slip up’. An Amazon employee ‘slip-up’, (of course!). Not me!

The last thing I remember last night in bed was sitting, propped up on three pillows, mobile Android touchphone in hand, and feeling very drowsy, wondering whether to risk taking my tablet early, whist checking out the metal garden furniture.

Yes, you’ve got it!
I fell asleep, mobile in hands, whilst on Amazon, with my index finger (apparently) ON the ‘1 click’ order icon. Oh sh*t.

I had been toying for weeks with the idea of genuinely purchasing the ‘Havana Single Seat Easyglide’, I can’t deny the fact. However, on some sites this is priced at nearly £200, and already having a FOUR mega-expensive top quality reclining sunloungers (which I only bought because they reminded me of the Miami Beach Hilton where I had reposed by the lush palm fringed pool, complete with miniature islands, and cascading artificial waterfalls tumbling over faux ‘rocks’ (sculpted from painted fibreglass), with the millionaires in 1989 on the occasion of my 34th birthday……….Actually I stayed in the Doral Hotel next door, but I would nip ‘next door’ to the Hilton each day and endeavour to find myself a good looking rich man for as long as it took for him to move on to the next flirty thirty something female. Mind you, I had a damned good holiday…….
……I had a bright red Fiat Uno, and I recall (when being chatted up by a particularly handsome chap), he asked me what colour my car was…..not the make of my car! He had this particular belief that the colour of your car relates to your personality. WEIRD GUY! I coyly (yes, even I c do ‘coy’ occasionally…..Well, I could, at 34, with a trim figure, and blonde hair, lol. I coyly, replied, ‘Oh!’ (eyelash flutter), ‘My car is Ferrari Red.’
‘So you have a Ferrari?’ He replied, draping his arm around my waist…….(And a good time was had by all, lol.)
Can’t believe that was 28 years ago this December. Miami Beach. Mmmmm.)

So I now am the proud owner of 4 sunloungers, a garden table and chairs, a hardwood garden bench, AND a ‘Havana EasyGlide’. I guess that Havana being in Cuba, and Cuba being not far from Miami Beach, Florida, then, no doubt, whilst sprawling out on my latest seaside, retirement and relaxation apparatus, I shall have even more opportunities to daydream and recall past memories….

……The memory here will be that it’s not a good idea to look at items on Amazon when you are extremely tired, and already have ‘1-click ordering’ setup linked to my bank account.
At least I mustn’t feel guilty, nor must I think it was a rather self indulgent, expensive purchase that wasn’t really necessary……..

………All I have to do is say to myself, ‘It wasn’t intentional, it was an accident.’

AEHall (3rd August 2016)

Note to Amazon: On noticing my unintended order I did read it was possible to cancel delivery by reason of ‘ordered by accident’, but I believe in fate, so decided ‘Que sera, sera’. (Plus I didn’t want to appear more stupid than I already feel!)