Ode to the Modern Age

This is a very witty poem written by Susan Forster who was inspired to write this after over-hearing two older ladies discussing their mobile phones…

Ode to the Modern Age

My family have tried to persuade me,
And I’ve resisted for ages, you know;
But I’ve finally succumbed to the technological age
And I’ve now got my first mobile phone.

It’s purple and small and quite pretty
And unlimited calls are a perk.
Well, I suppose that might be quite useful,
If I can only find out how it works.

When the phone goes, it needn’t be ringing,
You can have music or part of a song,
Well, I wouldn’t mind Sinatra, or Elvis,
If I could only turn the stupid thing on.

I’d love to send someone a message
Or, even, give someone a call.
But the screen and the keys are so tiny,
I need glasses to see them, at all.

What on earth is a Bluetooth?
Why is a Smartphone so smart?
So, is a tweet the same as a twitter?
And how do you tell them apart?

Why would I wallpaper my mobile?
And a Hotspot sounds rather risqué.
Why would I want predictive text?
And how does it know what I say?

There’s more to a mobile than I ever thought
And how to use it; I need to be taught…

There’s an…
alarm clock, number block,
calculator, calendar;
download, upload,
ringtone and camera..

There’s lots to learn, I’m sure you’ll agree
And, by the way…
How do I dial hands-free?

I don’t understand how people can say
Having a mobile will be such fun.
Why do I need all the extra kafuffle?
When I simply want to ring my son?

I’ve tried every App and locked every key
And I really just can’t keep track.
I think I’ll just stick with what I already know,
So….I’M SENDING THE BLASTED THING BACK !

Written by: Susan Foster March 2014