A Fishy Tale

A dear old couple I know were celebrating their silver wedding anniversary recently and decided to try out a new Fish Restaurant that has opened in their town.

I don’t know if you have see the kind of place I am talking about, but it is a large restaurant with a tank full of assorted fish in one corner of the room, from which the customer can order the fish they would like to eat. The fish is then caught, killed and cooked while you wait.

On entering the establishment, the couple were taken to a reception area, where they were offered complimentary drinks, and given a tour of the restaurant, including a good look at the fish tank.

After drinks, the couple were shown to their table and seated. A waiter was summoned and introduced himself, saying “Good evening Sir, my name is Gervais, I will be your waiter tonight, what is your pleasure”.

The man studied the fish in the tank for a short while, then said, “I fancy the green, angry looking, small octopus like creature, with the moustache”.

The waiter recoiled in horror, and with a cry rushed back into the kitchen. The restaurant manager was summoned to the table and explained:

“I am extremely sorry Sir, but that fish has been in the tank for a very long time, and some of the staff have come to regard it as a pet. Never mind, I will send another waiter to take your order”.

The restaurant was crowded that evening, and all of the waiters were busy attending to their allocated tables, so the manager went into the kitchen asked the German dishwasher if he would attend to the couple.

“Good evening, Sir”. He said. “My name is Hans, I shall now be your Waiter for the evening, may I take your order? ”.

My friend hesitated for a second, before repeating his order. Again the waiter burst into tears and ran into the kitchen, which goes to prove that;

Hans, (that do dishes ) is as soft as Gervais, with the wild, green, hairy lipped squid.

A short story by Allen Paul Harris ©2013