Charity Begins at Home, Chapter 9 – Dilemma
Lorna stretched and turned over, momentarily surprised to see a man next to her in the bed. She smiled to herself and thought back to last night, when she and Richard had, finally, spent the night together as lovers. He had been very gentle, almost hesitant, and she had appreciated his slow and tender love-making; it hadn’t been as bad as she had expected, in fact she had enjoyed it! It was more his pleasure which gave her pleasure; she didn’t care if she never had sex again but she wouldn’t dream of telling him that. For years she had thought that there was something wrong with her, especially when reading the modern Mills & Boon stories of rampant sex and strong yearnings, but talking to her many women friends had established that most of them felt as she did.
Richard lay with his eyes closed and wondered how he could get out of bed and into the bathroom without Lorna seeing his morning erection! He didn’t want her to think that he was ready for another session of love-making (although he was) as he dreaded seeing her look of acceptance instead of welcome. Last night had been pleasant and it had been good to have sex again after so long, but he would have appreciated more enthusiasm instead of just passive acquiescence. How could he discuss it with her without appearing critical?! He had known that she preferred a platonic relationship but there seemed to be a spark on their recent holiday and they had both agreed to further their relationship. He didn’t want “pity sex”; he’d rather have none at all if that was the case.
Once they had both showered, dressed and had breakfast, Richard invented an appointment in town, kissed Lorna goodbye and drove away. She closed the door behind him, wondering at his impatience to be gone after such a lovely evening and night, then shrugged and got on with her housework, singing to herself as she dusted and vacuumed. She wondered if he would be over this evening; should she get something nice for supper or just play it by ear? She decided on the latter and raided the shelves of Marks and Spencer for tasty “tapas-style” dishes which could be put together as required.
Later that same evening, as she sat alone watching TV and nibbling on some of the more perishable foods, she debated whether or not to telephone him. She hadn’t put him down as a one-night stand man who would desert her as soon as he’d had his wicked way but he was certainly giving that impression. She cast her mind back to the night before and tried to remember if there had been anything untoward in what she had said or done but could think of nothing. Perhaps he was one of those men who wanted to be told that he was amazing in bed? No, not Richard; there must be a good reason for him not contacting her and no doubt she would find out the next day. If he didn’t call her, then she would phone him just for a chat.
Richard sat looking at the ‘phone. He knew that he should call Lorna but he could not think what to say and how to say it. He wasn’t a coward and knew that she favoured plain speaking but some things were too emotive, especially implied criticism of sexual performance. On the other hand, she would be wondering what on earth was wrong and thinking that he was one of those “wham, bang, thank you ma’am” men and he would hate her to think that of him. Taking a deep breath, he picked up his mobile and called her number. After all that heart-searching, the call went straight to voice-mail! “Hello Lorna, Richard here. Thank you so much for a lovely evening and I wondered if you would like to come to my home for supper on Thursday evening, about 7. Could you give me a ring to let me know, one way or the other?”. He put down the ‘phone and hoped that he hadn’t sounded too cool in his message but he hated answerphones.
Lorna picked up her messages when she got back from the dentist; two from women friends organising afternoon tea on Friday, then the one from Richard, which sounded a bit “off”. What should she do? She had never been invited to his home before, they usually met at her home or in tea shops, pubs or restaurants and the evening “sleep-over” had been at her home. She dialled his number and waited “Oh hi, Richard, thank you so much for the invitation to supper on Thursday, that would be lovely. What is your address and should I bring anything with me?”; she hated answerphones as well.
Thursday evening came; Richard had prepared an easy supper, as he didn’t know whether or not Lorna would stay for it once they had had their chat. She arrived exactly at 7pm, bringing with her a pretty pot plant and a bottle of Pinot Grigio Rosé, her favourite wine. After the initial greetings, taking the plant into the sitting room and putting the wine in the fridge, Richard poured them both a gin and tonic and they settled down opposite each other. “I was worried when you didn’t phone me”, said Lorna, “I thought I’d done something wrong”. “Straight to the heart of the matter, as usual”, thought Richard. “Yes, I am sorry about that but had some thinking to do”, Richard explained. “There’s no other way to say this, and I’m sorry, but I felt that you only slept with me out of friendship, not because you really wanted to, and I would rather not have sex at all than have “pity sex”. I know that you had said that you preferred a platonic relationship but we both agreed that there had been a spark between us on holiday”.
“Well, that told me”, thought Lorna. “I’m so sorry that you felt that way, Richard. You are right that I would have preferred a platonic relationship but we have moved on to a sexual relationship and I did enjoy the other evening. Perhaps I wasn’t fulsome enough in my praise!”.
“Oh dear, now I have upset her”, thought Richard, “I don’t need praise but I just wasn’t sure that you welcomed my advances and I didn’t want to repeat the “offence” and completely lose your friendship. Can we go back to how we were and continue to see each other?”
Lorna thought for a few moments, sipping her gin. She liked Richard’s company very much and would miss him if they didn’t meet again. Now that they had slept together, it wasn’t such a problem and could happen again if they were both in the mood, but need not be a regular part of their meetings. “Yes, I understand what you are saying, Richard, and I’m happy to carry on meeting for lunch or dinner or for days out and we can see how it goes. Thank you for being honest with me; you know I like straight talking, although I must admit I’m upset that you thought I would agree to have sex out of a misplaced sense of pity for you”.
Richard heaved a sigh of relief, got up from his chair and kissed her cheek, then went to serve the supper and the rest of the evening went well, with their usual gentle banter and a hug and kiss on saying goodnight. Lorna drove home, wondering if she’d done the right thing. Maybe she should have picked up her handbag and stormed out, but then she would have missed out on a lovely supper and forfeited the bottle of Pinot! She laughed at herself and continued home to a good night’s sleep.
Several months later, having met each other for the occasional lunch, dinner or cinema trip, Richard had invited Lorna to a black tie function to be held at the Grand Hotel in Scarborough. The function had been organised by the local Rotary Club and was to raise funds for local charities, so it should be a good evening out and it was a treat to dress up properly for a change. He had collected her from her home and arranged for a taxi to take her back at the end of the evening – the invitation stated “Carriages at midnight” so she felt a bit like Cinderella!
They mingled with the other guests in the ballroom, champagne glasses in hand, Richard introducing her to various acquaintances of his. They all greeted her with courtesy and ill-disguised interest, especially the women; some of them had known Eleanor and did not know that Richard had a new lady friend, but the conversation was general and pleasant. Then everything changed for Lorna.
“Good heavens, Richard! How are you? Haven’t seen you or heard of you since we were giving the elbow from the bank!”, exclaimed a voice behind Lorna. Richard smiled and introduced Lorna to the owner of the voice. “Lorna, this is an old colleague, Alan Martin; we lost touch when we were both made redundant from the bank”. Alan shook Lorna’s hand and said how pleased he was to meet her but looked puzzled, so Richard felt moved to explain, “My wife died shortly after I was made redundant and Lorna and I met through her charity work”.
They continued to chat, catching up with what had happened to each of them since they had last met, while Lorna stood there with a smile on her face, as if she was listening to their conversation. Inside, she was a seething mass of screaming hormones – this was the man she had seen in the Midlands hotel all those years ago, when she had felt as if she had been plugged into the mains!! He still had the same effect on her and she was surprised that no-one else seemed to notice. Why couldn’t she react to Richard like this, instead of to a total stranger? How was she going to continue with the evening?
To be continued …….
Written By Laura Wickham
Laura Wickham
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